OUT WITH THE WHITE

Back in high school, I was often asked what my plans were for college. Questions like what course would I dare take, what school would I go to or if I would actually go to college were all getting up on my face.

Back then, I would always give them a vague answer -- so vague that it would often be rendered both nonsense and whimsical, so vague that I couldn't qualify it myself. Who would understand me anyway if I answered, "bahala na"?

Now I know why I got so unreceptive during those inquisitive times -- I was afraid then. I used to view college as just a white and vast space -- absolutely nothing but white.  I didn't have any idea of it, neither did I care about knowing how it's like. I even asked one guy if the notebook I was buying the day before my debut in college was a Cattleya or not. Now I know Cattleya is a brand of binder (hahaha..that's so fooolish of me).

Now that I'm already in my third year, and am anticipating a diploma in just one academic year, I could say that college is not that scary at all, though at times, it pans out to be like a nightmare. The white and vast space then, is now full of so many other colors, so many other objects, so many other faces and so many other experiences all gearing me up for my entry into the real world.

It was not easy though to sense all these elements. I needed sometime, effort, faith and understanding for me to see I have them in that white space.

By being in college, I've learned to appreciate everything that's happening to me. I've known better how to look at brighter colors of my predicaments, no matter how roughly they obstruct my way at times. I was also able to appreciate my music player, phone, pen, paper and all other luxuries that help me get through all the pressure and sometimes boredom in the academe. I also came to love my family and friends even more for the trust and love they give me and will give me all throughout this journey.

Another funny thing about being in college is that it helps me experience things to their extreme level. In high school, I could manage to finish my assignments before midnight or shortly after 12 midnight but now, 24 hours seems to be insufficient still to carry out all the loads. My slightly delayed meals in high school have gone "superextramega" delayed in college. To have breakfast, lunch and snacks altogether at 4 in the afternoon, most of the time, is good enough as an evidence, I guess. Most of all, my nine 90-page notebooks back then were reduced to just a sheet of yellow paper, folded to fit my pocket. (Idk if it's funny..haha)

 "Naku, four years of disaster", said the official who handed me my first ever AUF-ID. Written in it was "AB COM 1". I didn't know how would I react back then. I remember looking at him with a poker face. Now, I can't help but grin whenever that scene comes to my mind for I now know that he was partly wrong. College life is so exciting for me. It's now a Kaleidoscope, far from that white hole I was looking at,and I'm loving every color that strikes it.